A Squares Guide to Being Punk is a series of stories and prose that highlight my love affair with The Portland Timbers, debauchery, strippers, whores and more drinking than anyone can even imagine. It is a blue print for how to be a drunk singing hooligan and an devotee to the beautiful game. Its the story of an artist and his many urban loves as it plays out in The Fresch Klesch's beloved Rose City. We follow the early days of the Timbers and the Timbers Army as they give rise to a cultural phenomenon that is as famous as the futbol. Follow the characters and find your self a passionate culture of alternative lifestyles and debaucherous hooliganism. Every thing a square needs to be a punk!
mormons on bikes
april showers may flowers
a hipsters wet dream
day jobs are for suckers
first thursday thirsty thursday
ain't no sunshine in hell
titties and kitties
want to get drunk and fuck
no emo shite
i give good head
viral gorilla art
the sunshine emo
each chapter title page will have a photograph of a topless nude women wearing a Timbers scarf covering her breasts. Woven throughout the book of stories will be art and photographs highlighting the themes and art of the fresch klesch.
this is an art photography book dedicated to portraits of interesting and cool characters of a nefarious repute.
it has always been my motto to be a character that people remember, and because of that, since i was a kid i have had an affinity for portraiture. there is a certain humane quality to the emotional content found in a persons face, especially their eyes.
one important thing about this book is that if you do not already have an interesting nickname, stage name or character about you, i will size you up and give you one. examples from previous nefarious names bestowed on people are: the coke whore, the ever changing hair color whore...
this book is my only art book open to males and those female models who do not want to get naked for the other art books.